"I don't want to practice!"

“I don’t want to practice!” What now, Mom?

Some adults who quit music as children/teenagers will say it was because their parents forced them to practice. Others continue to play to this day, and thank their parents for nudging them along. So now it is your turn to pass on the gift of music. How do you help your child stay on the path of lifelong enjoyment?

Keep it fun. From the very first lesson, work with the teacher to create a practice system that rewards effort and progress.

Guilt-free. Phrases like, “You don’t know how lucky you are,” didn’t work with the spinach either.

A special practice place. A child needs an inspiring and private place to practice, make mistakes, and “let it all hang out.” Comments like, “I heard you playing x and it sounded good,” can make a child feel like every practice is a performance. Ask for permission to comment before offering your opinion. If your child has to practice in a public place in the home, clear everyone else out at practice time. This puts your child’s practice time where it belongs, at the top of the food chain.

Be inspiring. Show your child how to find videos on his instrument on YouTube. Practice an instrument yourself. Take your child to concerts. If you child is very young, half of a symphony concert or a Community Music School Spotlight Recital may be just right.

Encourage, don’t inflate. Children need to know when they are improving and when they do a good job in a performance. But they don’t need to hear that they are destined to become the next big star. Comparing your child to anyone but himself is a mistake.

Be realistic. Is you child playing the right instrument? Ask your child’s teacher how much focused practice you can expect from your child, given age, maturity, talent, and level of interest.

Nurturing the musician in your child, like any part of parenting, is an art in itself. Best of luck!

“‘I don’t want to practice!’ What now, Mom?” The Music Center Newsletter (Fall 2008): 2.